48 in. X 48 in., oil on canvas. I painted this when I was still in school. At the time I was a great admirer of photorealists such as Ralph Goings and Richard Estes. But I also admired the compositions of James Rosenquist. I saw his use of collage as a method of taking recognizable subject matter and reducing it to an almost neutral visual element. I was facinated with the idea of painting nonrepresentationally while still working in a realist manner. This concept relates to the title. I enjoyed the way that Nietzsche used oxymorons in his writings to refer to concepts that were seemingly contridictory. The photographs that I used in the painting were all images that I had taken at various places and times that all connected with my life at that time. Some of the photos were taken at school. The mannequins and cow skull were from set-ups in the painting and drawing studio, and the gears are from shots of an old off-set printing press that was partially dismantled in the printmaking studio. The rusty metal in the background is from the boiler room at a Television studio where I worked at night as a security guard. I cut up the photographs and arranged them to get the best composition. Then I recreated the collage on larger scale in oils. I remember that I struggled with this image because I had gotten some flack from other students for using a projector to start some of my other paintings. So, for this painting I made sure to recreate the image from start to finish without using any mechanical assistance. I think that this process also helped me to come up with the title.
